Fear In My Eyes
by That Elusive Reader
Summary: "The only thing I remember is the syringe going into my neck and then I see the land rise up before me, but it doesn't form into anything. There is only mists." Dauntless (and the cute instructors) have always been filled with fears. Dive into Izy's mind to find her fears and her dreams of something not quiet so innocent in the slightest. One-Shot


The only thing I remember is the syringe going into my neck and then I see the land rise up before me, but it doesn't form into anything. There is only mists.

I can imagine their faces, confused at why the simulation only gives them a blank.

I stare at the mist, my jaw set and my hands slightly away from my thighs. You can do this, I think.

I reach forward to touch the mist and it bounces, like I did something wrong, but I know I haven't. I had a dream like this once. The mist retreats and two images are formed, no three. One is a huge, scary looking building, the other is a small house, and the third has no definite shape. I imagine it is a boy, my future, but I don't want to believe it. Not yet.

I force myself to slow my breath and the mist fades, leaving only the figure, that shifts into a male figure who comes at me and before I can react, kisses me fiercely, like he has done this before. I try to push him away, but he is far too strong. I pale, my body frozen.

I refuse to give in. I push him away with all my might and he falls into a pile of bugs that make clicking noises and swarm up my legs towards my exposed skin.

I refuse to move. I can't move.

The muscles in my legs jump, but I don't move. I keep my face blank, for I know the other initiates are watching me, judging me.

My heart returns to normal and the bugs turn into cool mist on my body.

I turn around, expecting to see something else, but before I can move an inch, a building has built itself around me and I am standing on the roof top, staring down at the ground.

My legs itch to run back, away from the edge, but I remind myself that it is a simulation, I can't die here.

I force my legs to jump and before I know it I have landed on a stage in front of at least five hundred people.

A woman in heels walks quickly over, her heels clicking dangerously on the ground. "Read this," she mutters, forcing a paper under my noise.

I stare at the words, forcing myself to forget the people, not to run and not to throw the paper into a fire.

I form the words on my lips and begin, stuttering, but all the same, the landscape changes and I see nothing around me. I frown before I realize what it is.

It's being left behind. I force myself to swallow my throat and force it into a cage next to my heart, so it can't escape.

I can make out Tina and Benji running away from me, but I can't move. My shoulder has frozen and so have my legs. I wish I could cry out for my siblings to stop, but I can't, for my mouth is frozen too.

I force myself to think logically, they aren't here. They are back home, morning my loss from Amity. Probably will sing a song tomorrow morning about how sad they are before eating the bread and feeling happy again. And tranquil. I hadn't realized how much I relied on the bread to keep my top on all the time, but now that it is gone, there is nothing stopping me from killing someone or pushing someone off a cliff.

I force my heart to go down, and open my eyes.

The instructors stare at me, I have a feeling they know I got so few.

But for the moment I don't care. I look over their shoulders at Thomas, the boy from Amity who had come with me.

It was nice to see a familiar face now, at least I could have some comfort now, in the midst of a fearful world.

"Good job Izy," says the instructor the girls in my dorm have often whispered about at night when they think the others have gone to bed.

They glare at me when I don't recognize that I have just been complimented by a cute man.

I care about as much as I would if he were a girl. If he were bile in my mouth that I wanted to get rid of.

Though I know their response to that, "You want him _in your_ _mouth?_!"

But I don't care. He isn't all that cute.

But if we had a child together I would name her Natalie. _Natalie Prior_.

_**A/N: Okay, yes, I know this might not be cannon with Insurgent, but I wrote this the night before I finished Insurgent, and it came to me randomly. Please review. THANK YOU. **_

_**Oh yea, I don't own Divergent or Insurgent, sadly. I do own whoever the heck is speaking in the entire thing and the instructor who she falls in love with and gives birth to Natalie Prior, who I don't own. **_


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